He's going the distance. He's going for speed....

So said the aptly and tastily titled Cake, with at least 50% of it being true in my case.

I trudge slowly into week two of this frankly pointless vanity project that hurts...stupid boy.


Lets gets to the facts...

Covered = 0 km (0%)

Left = 3.86km (100%)

Covered = 79 km (43.8%)

Left =  101 km (56.2%)

Covered =10 km (23.3%)

Left = 32.2 km (76.7%)

As you can see I have spent most of the first 8 days in the saddle. I think it is the biggest target to chase so I ended up putting most effort in. A mix of turbo trainer and gym, it has meant that I have clocked the kms fitting around normal life.

This week I need to balance it a bit more. By Sunday I need to have covered at least another 10km running, 2km swimming and ideally another 50km in the saddle.

Onwards and upwards ...

Kick Start ...

I have been somewhat remiss from updating my wafflings. The reason I write this stuff is to create a record of what I promise myself I will do in a public way.

Obviously it has the side effect of creating a hardcore set of Shepherdites (fans who camp outside my house each morning and scream).

My plans this year have gone somewhat awry. In theory I should be a few weeks away from the peak of my 2015 which was the Lidl Bananaman triathlon.

Sadly I returned my cape and sent them a handwritten note (on yellow paper and rubbed with a real banana) saying I couldnt attend.

Moving house meant that for about 6 weeks getting to the gym became a real issue. It was packing, unpacking, cleaning, fixing, googling the answer to general DIY stuff and other events.

So ... rather  than feel sorry for myself or let it slip, taking my lead from the poets Danbert Nobacon & Alice Nutter - I am getting back up again.

My plan as from today is an Ironman in a month. Literally it is that... an Ironman in a month.

For those of you that dont know the distances are

                                                             3.86km (2.4miles) swim

                                                         
                                                             180.25km (112 mile) bike

                                                             42.2km (26.2 mile) run.




Now hardcore people who are better than me do this in under 17 hours. 

I am going to do it in under 730 hours, but i have to go to work so really I have the tougher challenge! (man logic at work there) 

Wish me luck!

a funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done.

In the last fornight I have achieved 50% of my goals. Last time I sat down to write this I was expecting to do the Padiham Aquathlon and Thames Turbo Tri.

Spending the night before the Aquathlon throwing up and wondering where all this ectoplasm came from meant that I was in far from tip top condition for the event. When the starting gun went off, I was curled up in a duvet asleep.


Fast forward a week and on to the Thames Turbo race. I had ventured out of the north and like a human moth had been drawn to the bright lights of the big city (with its pavements of gold, a chewing gummy covered gold) found myself getting up at 4 am to get to the pool for registration at 5 30am.

 


 I had spent the previous couple days working out all the reasons I wasnt going to enter it and how I could kid myself that it was for the best. To put it pretty bluntly I was fairly nervous and quite scared about the event. Logically there was no reason to be, but emotionally I struggled with remaining positive. I used a well known tactic of telling everyone I had entered. That way to pull out, I would look like a dick and I didnt want that. The fear of being an idiot was stronger than the fear of the race!


Originally intended that a few of us would do this event, I silently cursed them all for deciding that a warm bed is better than a freezing cold poolside.

The collection of very fit men in lyrca and some seriously expensive machinery, sent collywobbles through my legs (not with excitement) but with the fear that I was the fat kid picked last at football and shouldn't be sharing the cold pool tiles with such esteemed company.  Indeed the event was part of the London league series and had attracted some of the fastest and fittest guys & gals (this showed in the results with 7 people coming in at under 1 hour).

The race itself sucked with very little enjoyment throughout. From the cold start standing on a poolside at 6 30 am in pretty much just your pants, through to the numb toes when cycling and speed bumps through to the agony of the run /walk.

 
One thing I really struggled with was energy, by the time i got to the run I had nothing left. Getting up at 4 am to have two weetabixes I think didnt fortify me enough to get through 2 hours of exercise. Next time I will make sure I do better than that for breakfast.

Two highlights were that emerging from the water like the sleek salmon I am (year right, moby dick) I saw my brother there to encourage me, very much unexpected and I think next time he should be the other side of the barrier joining in :-) (ignore everything I have said thus far, it isnt that bad Jev)

Secondly was the vision of Lady Searle standing at the finish line when I puffed round telling me to run faster! As the internal sweary thoughts, she made up for it with tea and hot cross buns. All eaten whilst sitting in a clam bushy park.

But I did it .. the aftermath is next week ..

Too clever by half

It's official I am an idiot.... I have been meaning to update this blog with my (admittedly not very) exciting adventures.

 

So I get a good idea about how it is all going to be done in pictures or done using the intros from famous songs... Then never quite get round to writing the flipping thing!

 

So I will keep it simple

1) had sore ligaments in my ankle for last couple of weeks, mainly through over training. I have been running more than other things and like a hippo in high heels my ankles have taken a battering

2) got my first event booked for Sunday, Padiham Aquathlon. Basically a 600m swim then 5km run. Until tonight I had no idea whether it was doable but after a 30 min run thing feel ok

3) two weeks ago I was very brave. I had to pick my camper up from its mot so instead of getting a lift I decided to run there. 4.5km downhill then through the delightful splendour of accrington. Really nice bit was a guy who was training for a tri came running up and ran with me for a big to encourage me. Off he galloped like a sleek gazelle leave the plodding hippo feeling a little more happy.

4)working evenings has encroached into my training time so I invested in a turbo trainer.

It means you can use your road bike inside and still get a workout.

It is a blessing and a curse... An instrument of torture that tenderises your undercarriage....

 

So that's it up to date.... I think...

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

Once a polytito, when our young world was fresh

 The last two weeks have become recovery weeks, one through planning the other through circumstances times by lack of motivation.

Weirdly i am much fitter than last year (already run 8 x 5km since 1st January) but also contain more atoms in my personal shapeliness. So that is something to work on.

This weekends plans of running and swimming got put on hold when on Friday morning something pinged in my foot accompanied by being stabbed by a thousand mini pitchforks in my foot (never one to exaggerate). A bit of rest will fix it

In the meantime I thought I would show you my stuff. I have stuff that I use to get me through the pain and to the start line.

The most important bit of kit I have ever bought were my Barefoot running shoes. This whole journey started after reading Born to Run ( Highly recommended - http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1861978774) and then buying pair of shoes in Kuala Lumpur (how long an exotic ago that sounds)

In simple terms the shoes are supposed to mimic running barefoot but with less stones poking your feet. They have no built up sole like you find in Nike Air Max which in theory promotes your body to sort out its own gait. All I know is that I have had no knee or ankle problems since using them, and once these go in the bin they will be replaced with another pair.

Mega light weight only about 150g, breathable and flexible.

 Number two in my toolkit of training is my Sansa Clip MP3 player. Cheap with SD card and 42GB of storage this is an ace piece of kit. Again barely weighs anything, can clip on to clothing (well if the clip hadnt broken) and is loud enough for tunes. Teamed it with a pair of Philips sports headphones for propa noize when runs init. 

Wills top tip is that if you keep losing the ear buds on the headphones, a dab of superglue keeps em in place (obviously not when you are wearing them, idiot)




Final tool to help me to greatness is my new heart rate monitor watch. Fed by magick elecrical waves the black strap sends letters to the watch, which tells you how hard your heart is pumping. I have included a pic of it in action taken from my last training session at the begining of the blog.



It has loads of modes including Autosport and a virtual race partner (he is much better looking than me) to keep you entertained. You are also able to enter training session in it before hand so you dont need to remember what you are doing.

Once session are over the data can be uploaded to garmin connect, which tracks what you are doing and gives you all the data a boy could need.

All from me for now .... byyyeeeee 

And Breathe

Sort of completed week 3 of the training. I say sort of because the Norse gods have been unhappy and cursed this hill in Accrington with snow and ice. Normally it starts as snow then melts a little and turns to ice. With the added bonus of lots of wind!

It has meant that couple of days this week it physically has been almost impossible to get out of our stately country pile. Fingers crossed next week we have a big thaw :-)

So out of the 6 sessions I have managed just a measly 4. Instead of regaling you with my magnificent amazingness and feats of athletic prowess I will tell you about some knowledge I have acquired.

All about your heart, well the heart rate zones that are used when you train. Heart rate zones are the % your heart is working towards its maximum rate. It is all calculations and loads of detail can be found on the interweb.

By using the right zone you can concentrate on getting either your aerobic (fat burning - yes please) or anaerobic work outs. Mixing and matching they can make you run faster, jump longer with out being Steve Austin.

If you are going to do some tri training or anything else for example, can I highly recommend you get a heart rate monitor and stay in the Zone (man). 

Last year I followed a training plan for my tri and just did the activity suggested flat out then collapsed(ignoring the heart rate zones). This year I am following the plan including the heart rate zones and in 3 weeks I am probably fitter than 3 months of training last year! The added bonus is that you hurt less after even though you have progressed more.



Below is a non standard Will interpretation of the zones :-) 

Zone	Which is	Feels like	Example
1	Gently	You haven’t even started	Strolling in a summers evening in a beautiful bluebell wood
2	Bit of a trot	Sort of jogging	The speed at which a boy that decides he likes being kissed, runs during kiss chase
3	Steady on now	Definitely moving now	When you mum tells you to hurry up, if you don’t think it is worth it
4	At a gallop	Sweaty and fast	10 minutes to kebab shop closing
5	Flat Out	Your body will explode!	Phil Mitchel running towards the Queen Vic when he gets the news that Peggy has had a fall

Its Mental init ..

Week two down in my training and it is coming along nicely.

Today whilst on my 30 min run (get me) I did quite a lot of thinking and one of the many (man, many) thoughts I had involved the prep of a triathlon.

In my life there have been a couple of things I am certain I am going to do. I always knew I would get my MBA, I always knew I would get my Queen's scout award and recently I have become cognisant that I will do an Ironman Triathlon. Not only do but complete in under the cut off time (17 hours). How strange is that..

The reason that it occurred to me is that I have already taken as read that I will complete the Olympic tri this year, next year depending on fitness and wobbliness will either be a consolidation year or a push on to a 70.3. either way they are not a goal in themselves but a stepping stone on the path to the biggie.

 So before I start deciding whether I can get the I dot tattoo if I dont complete a branded Ironman event or even where I should put it, I think I should explain what I have been up to this week.

Physically 
Completed week two of the training plan. So far so easy. In total spent 4 hour 12 minutes working out excluding all the warming up and cooling down stuff. The peak was the Brick on Saturday lunchtime.

A brick (apart from being used to build a house) is where you complete a bike ride then immediately do a run. The reason for this is two fold 1) it is what you have to do in a triathlon so is good practice 2) to get you used to jelly legs. 

After you have spent a good while on the bike, when you come to get off and start to run your legs feel like .. well jelly and really heavy. Getting use to that feeling is important. So Sat was 45 minutes on the bike followed by 20 min run. Whilst not earth shattering it was enough to feel that I could get a good workout.

I also worked on my heart rate zones, more of which next week. 

Things I learnt
1) Foam rollers hurt but get rid of muscle tightness 
2) My new HRM GPS watch is the dogs danglies. All it needs is tetris or the ability to talk to KITT
3) A 30 min run can now be boring.

Mentally 

Not something that I had considered before but I spent a long time this week mentally preparing. As outlined above I realised that this is just a step in the next 5 years of my life.

I read a lot.

5 books in a week all about triathlons, nutrition, heart rates, preparing, plans etc. I also listened to some really interesting podcasts which had some amazing hints and tips but also shared some of the realities of the sport. Mentally I feel so much more prepared than last year and much more wiser. No doubt it is pushing useful knowledge out of my grey matter, probably lyrics to really important songs..

I also got out the calendar and started to plan events.

9th April  - Hampton Turbo Sprint Tri with my Tri ladies and potentially a few more people (Mark, Fi & Jev)
10th May - Pendle Sprint Tri
14th June - Windermere Open Water Sprint Tri
11th July - Lidl Bananaman - Full Banana Tri

Things I learnt

1)Triathlons in their nature are pretty selfish. At the moment going to the gym for 1 1/2hours is ok because I get out the house, once I start deciding to train for the bigger events it becomes life absorbing and I think the doggies might object :-)
2) Words make things sounds so easy
3) 2 hour podcast on triathlon training doesn't compete with the Football Ramble.


So thats it, nothing more for now... next week a bit more progression into the Adonis of the tri world and perhaps an amusing explanation of heart rate zones.

New Year new plan

So the new year has popped into existence, 2015 already.  Scary how life seems to fly past.

Being one prone to stupid ideas, I have decided to enter a proper triathlon. In technical terms an Olympic distance one (sort of), yes like they do at that four yearly event, all proper and grown up.

No it isnt the mental ones when you run marathons (that may be for later in my life, if I decide that I am going to partake in that particular kind of madness) 

In simple terms it is a 800m Swim (in a lake) 31.8km bike (on roads) and 7.5km run (utilising the ground/foot interface). All in one go, with no stopping for coffee and cakes or beer, definitely not beer...

Sounds so simple typed out, but means I need to get practising again. i will be waiting for the gym to open tomorrow morning to get back in the groove.

Things to do include being able to do all those distances separately, practising them, lots, trying to swim in a wetsuit in a lake without drowning, doing some warm up sprint tris and making sure I don't get injured. To that end I am going to keep a weekly rambling account of my progress (or lack of) 

I have decided to do it for myself first and for charity second. I will raise money to go to support Soi Dog who do fantastic work and are building a new hospital in Thailand. More on that later.

So if any of you are foolish enough to want to join me (they do little ones as well) then please form a queue :-) http://humanrace.co.uk/events/triathlon/bananaman-triathlon

Till next week... wanders down acacia road  singing banana man theme

Not so silently screaming

Today I just wanted to share my pain.

Cramp.

Yes cramp.

Work done by the devil as he taunts you and your new exercise regime.

Like a thousand sharp needles jabbed into you in delicate places.

Now add two dogs who think you are playing with them as you roll around on the floor moaning and clutching your leg.

Taking it in turns to pounce, bite and lick you.

The screaming is mixed with trying not to laugh, as that then tightens the muscles and makes it hurt even more. So the circle of pain continues ... and the biting.. and pouncing ..

It must be the 10th Circle in Dantes Inferno..

Hard work - You should try eating a bun

So we live in a (theoretical) universe that encompasses all the infinite possibilities that each decision we make represents. Not just in a Sliding Doors way, but for every journey there are an infinite number of start times with an infinite number of outcomes. And to keep it simple there are degrees of infinity as well.

A strange fact is that there are an infinite number of numbers between 1 & 2 and they arent countable (look up Cantor if you are interested, bored or want to impress geeks). Strangely enough some infinities are countable but guess how long you would need to count them?

So with all this infinity populating our normal lives, there is a reality where running is easier than eating a bun.

Where chunky monkeys are revered for their bun skills as they have to practice a lot, British Bake Off is a behind the scenes visit to the Team UK training camp for the international scoff awards and running is an activity for the unpopular people in life.

Gym would become plumping rooms, with specialist machines to increase your ability. One will be a massive whipped cream can where you would do small spurts to build up stamina before moving on to the crispy cornflake crammer which slowly fed you pieces of chocolate crispy cakes.

Beeeeep...  that is the machine finished now onto the next one. Unfortunately in the real reality (or is it) its back to sweating and trying to lose as many atoms as possible or at least turn those atoms in a less wobbly structure.

10 days ago I did a Go Tri event (highly recommend them) which I came middle table in. Yes I know it isnt about competing but let the fat boy have a moment. Since then visitors and visiting have sapped my motivational mojo.

This week will be different, I have chosen a different reality from the one where I stayed in bed this morning (sadly I didnt make it to the plumping room, that was the other reality).

Only 3 weeks left ...

In the Zone ..

Last few weeks have seen a slow return to the gym. I still have tightness in my calf but due to a combination of rubbing, waves and needles it hurts a lot less.

I took a training selfie for you all to see :-)

The reality is that I have only a month or so to get back to where I was before, that is being able to complete the Triathlon in September without serious medical assistance.

This week I have got back to being able to run 4k without too much effort so to reward myself I thought I would enter a couple of smaller events before september. Sat I have entered myself for a Go Tri event with a short swim then 2.5k run. Should give me a bit of a fix after weeks of being laid off.

I thought that to motivate me I would post my training schedule for the week here... so that I know I will do it

Monday - Gym - Run - 4K
Tuesday - Pool -  Swim (although judging by the weather outside I could just use the front garden)
Wed -Pool - Swim (evening is lane swimming so less idiots to worry about)
Thurs - Gym - X training including Run
Fri - Rest
Sat - Go Tri event
Sun - Bike

Not particularly exciting but will get me fitter and closer to the Brackley Tri

Remember that tank top you bought me ....

The last couple of weeks have been incredibly frustrating with my calf injury still quite sore. I managed to get back training only for it to flare up again.

Trying not to be wussy yet not overexert at the same time is a bit of an issue. I think that the fact I am still classified in the comfortably padded measurement index doesnt help much. So that will be dealt with in due course.

Last Sat I was signed up to do a Duathlon in Preston, a run then a cycle then a run, but come Friday it was clear I couldn't manage the run part of it. even with the application of lots of heat and mega stretching my calf kept cramping up.

Anyway a couple of days rest and Sunday I hit the gym again. Thankfully the last couple of days have been pain free which means I am back up at doing an hour in the gym which is awesome. That means that my next tri in August in Macclesfield should be a goer (words I never thought I would utter)

For those of you that are joining me in September just a gentle hint that it is only 7 weeks away :-) 
It will fly past!

So boring bit over with want to know what I think sometimes when running ...
no? ...
stop reading then ...

1) Why cant they have heat converters that take the heat from the gym and use it to drive some sort of energy recovery system? Perhaps they could use it to heat the water in the sauna? (I did think about it being pumped straight in then mentally corrected myself for the ick factor)

2) Even though my mp3 is on random how come it is always the same songs? I seem to have far too much Rancid on there even though they are only 10 of the few hundred songs

3) If I had one wish I decided that I would spend it on making Solar UV cleaning water via plastic bottles a viable method. Not exciting as a ferrari but something pretty cool. There must be an answer out there somewhere

4) Surely all of the antiques in the UK have been bought and sold by a team in a crappy brightly coloured fleece jacket .. .normally at a loss

5) Is it ok to sing to yourself in the gym? I mean I know I am an awesome singer ...

6) Why not fit drains under the gym equipment so that the sweat runs away rather than sitting there till someone half arsedly wipes it down?

7) If I had to write one song it would be Wizzards christmas hit. Money for life ... then you could do whatever you wanted.

8) When they invent a way to pipe books straight into your mind will they just download everything at once or will you have to sign up to a weekly Britannia music style programme? 

9) Can you exercise in your sleep?

10) Do people every put their phones down?

So yes .. .a little of me ...that is 2 minutes you will never get back ... I did warn you ..

testing.. testing.. one .. two .. .one..two ...

Blows dust off ...

Yep still working. Good.

Sorry to interrupt your lives again (although you chose to come here, so really it is you that should be apologising to me) but I thought I would start my blog again.

I only intended it to cover up to the first triathlon, thinking that was mission accomplished.

But I find myself in the position that in two weeks I have a duathlon and in 4 or so weeks I have another triathlon with one more end of September. In order to not embarrass myself and to sound like an interesting person I though I would restart this so you can join me in my journey.

To catch up -

• I have been injured with calf muscle which meant little or no training for last 3 weeks
• somehow 3 other intelligent people have signed up to do the September Brackley Tri based on my idiotic ramblings and actions
• Back training as from yesterday 
• I have bought myself a GPS & HRM watch which is proper funky 
• I have realised I was overtraining hence the injury 
• Last night I read a book about an Ironman triathlon which set me thinking .. only 17 hours in total. 

So thats it for now, I am off to physio so that a delicate young lady can inflict massive pain on me.

If anyone else fancies a bit of a challenge then feel free to join us in September, you can do it for Charity if you want. 

Fat boy did run.. and swim .. and cycle

I did it. Yes I really did.

 I crossed the finishing line without medical assistance and so my challenge was completed.

So for those of you sane enough never to decide to do something ridiculous like this I thought I would tell you how it went.Apologies for it being rather unfunny but thought you might like the facts



Week before
As it dawned on me that on Sunday I was going to be running and cycling a bit, I thought I would check out the course. Oh bugger.

I forgot we werent in Kansas any more Toto. Northern England has hills. And I am doing my tri in Kendall. Famous for its mint cake ... to eat when up those hills.

At that point I thought about all the amazing injuries I could get and not have to do the race. I looked at the profile a few times to see if I could wish it somehow more Holland than Lake District. But to no avail.

Next step was to do the route on google maps. Eek, even worse. Up to this point all my training had been on the flat. I hadnt even ever thought that there may be more than a slight undulation. But bugger it, I would walk if I had to. It still didnt stop the most nerve wracking 5 days of my life. Stupid isnt it!

The Day
I had been given my start time and so had to go and register beforehand at the venue. Being massively paranoid we left earlier and got there with loads of time to spare. All the more time to worry. And look at all the really professional people with their fancy bikes.

Strangely no one noticed the imposter in their midsts and allowed me to register and get my bag of goodies.

Back to the car to get my bike and take it to the transition area, I passed people with gel sachets, disc wheels, carbon fibre widgets and boxes of stuff. I had my bag with a few bits and a bottle of water.

 felt like Jan Molby had been invited round Beckhams and he had opened the door in his pants.

The bikes are hung up in the transition area and you lay all your stuff out. I spent a whole 5 seconds dumping mine by my bike and pouring half a talc mine into my socks.

Then lots of standing around trying to avoid the instinct to run away ...

The Start

With 10 minutes before the start I assembled on the pool side with the other members of my wave. To my eyes they were semi pro in the least, pretty much all dressed in some form of black rubber. Chatting to a couple of them it seemed we were all at our first one, which cheered me up, until I found out most of them ran 10k's or were road cyclists. I was the opposite. I dont do bad in the swim but the rest is a challenge.

Called to the pool side we were each given a timing chip to measure our splits and each section. Again I expected to be handed a sundial to measure my time, but my buff confident exterior confused them and I got a chip an all.

Into the water and countdown from 10 the first wave goes. Second wave goes then my turn. At this point I had decided that I might as well actually do this triathlon malarkey as I got my head wet.

The Swim

I pushed off and did my 16 lengths. As mentioned my swimming is the high point and straight away I caught up with the guy in front, which became a pain.

After 8 lengths, valour got the better of me and I thrashed wildly past him. I had only bloody overtaken someone... inside I did a little dance :-)


Out of breath after my sleek passing move I quickly caught up with the guy in wave one and decided to just plod behind him.  Then it was over. I carefully climbed out of the pool, gingerly tip toeing to the grass area out side lest I slip (plus you musn't run next to a pool)

Then once on the grass I felt I had to run to my bike cause everyone else was. I did feel a berk as I am not sure my transition times were that important, although people clapped and cheered me (again mistakenly)

The Cycle
Helmet on (not allowed to touch your bike without it being on) then socks (with its talcy loveliness) plus shoes and I was good to go. Wheel the bike down to main road and I was off on my 21km ride.

At this point life was easy. Swim went well, bike felt ok... I could do this. Then I started to hit the hills. Only little ones to begin with but we had been warned there was a long steepish climb. Knowing what is coming meant that every little hill was branded the big one, until a bigger one came along.

As I tootled along minding my own business, proper racers came screaming past me at about a billion miles an hour! They looked like were out for a morning paper not racing, rather than a red faced idiot huffing and puffing along a bike that was far superior to his abilities.

But this is where I discovered why people do it. Every single person that past me shouted encouragement or checked I was OK. Whilst you race by yourself, all of you race together. It was a lovely feeling.

Spurred on I was feeling all Wigganish and really enjoying my ride, that is until I met the hill. It wasn't really a big one, but it seemed to go on for a while and I just ran out of puff about halfway up. Having given myself permission beforehand I hopped off my bike and walked up the rest of the hill.At the top, I had the pleasure of a good downhill, hitting the heady heights of about 30mph.....vroooomm

Lap two of the course I was more into my stride and reach 3/4 before I hopped off, so a small victory to me. Then I headed back to the transition area, again being met by applause and encouragement.

Shiona did a little dance when I came into sight (mainly I found out later because she thought she would be scraping my up from under a HGV)

The Run
Bike racked, helmet off and off I toddled on my run. 5km around a part track part road course with one steep section (nope hadnt trained for that either). Strangely I felt fine, obviously sticking close to my training plan had helped with my fitness. I managed to get round with a mix of walking and running, with only my quads threatening to cramp up. The steep hill at 3km was met with a firm bout of walking and puffing..

Lapped by pretty much everyone and the milkman, I didnt really care, I knew I was going to finish. Again words of encouragement flowed as men hewn from raw granite breezed past me.

The final 2km downhill was almost a pleasure. I rounded the final bend and managed to ensure that I ran over the finishing line. Woo hoo.

The End
So that was it. I had finished and got my medal.

Or is it? 
As I packed up, all I could think about was when was the next one.

Within a week I have booked two more and one duathlon (run then bike then run) with potentially one more in the pipeline to take it to 5 events this year.

 Not bad for a fat boy.

oh and do you think I would learn.

I have booked to do a triathlon in Buxton in 6 weeks. 

They have hills in Buxton.

And it goes up the biggest... and what is classed as the most dangerous road in the UK.

bugger...

We're leaving together, But still it's farewell

Alot has happened since the last Blog. Well not happened in lots of ways. I had a weekend of Triathlons planned at end of March,but due to circumstances they both got cancelled.

All that build up, all that work and it felt like failure. I spent a week not exercising as it felt like someone had stolen my puppy...

But then I decided to do something positive and in pure Will logic I entered a Sprint Triathlon at the end of April. Which is double the length of the one that had been cancelled. What a great idea!

Except I had been training but not that hard because I didnt need to run that far. Now I do, so I have upping the training with painful consequences! The day after I feel like the tin man and just want someone to oil my joints.

So come Sunday at 9:25 I will embark on my first triathlon. I have even got a bib number 103 ... eeek. To say I have been thinking about it is an understatement. It is pretty much all that is on my mind. I have read the course description about a million times, worked out how I can mess up a million times and calculated my chances of dying.  Even reading my new favourite book about Wolfram Mathematica, the calculations supporting the big bang theory, inflation and how we are only a universe away from our doubles, doesnt help. Eeek  again.

I know I can finish and I dont even care if I am last (I do really unless people DNF then that is fine) but the unknown is a big headache

So this is it... I think... maybe...

Think about me on Sunday as I huff and puff around Kendal, cursing the world and my stupidity...

Ohh and I have booked another for September with plans of another two in between ... too early??

Tick Tick Tick Tick Boom...

This year has disappeared in a blur, often involving a lot of rain. Lots of rain. But now the sun is out and my feet have started to thaw out, smiles are beginning to appear on the lips of the public in the UK.

Training has been going well ish. Mostly sticking to the programme I am now into week 7. In fact in 4 weeks time I will have (theoretically) have completed my first triathlon. Gosh that is a thought!

Up until now it has been all in the gym due to the aforementioned weather. With teh sun out and dryign the ground I think the next few weeks will give me the opportunity to get out and experience the world flying past me as I dash along country lanes (or more likely huff and puff up the smallest hillock whilst old dears on their constitutionals race past me) 

To celebrate the fact it is coming up quickly I did what any sane, normal, slightly plump (stop sniggering) man would do and buy a trisuit. If you dont know what this is, think of skin tight lycra, with a nappy between your legs for the bike and fancy graphics. I know .I am hoping they dont think it is an Orca beached and start chucking water over me before a group of hippies try to roll me into the sea. And no I cant take that image back!

Up until now I have been maing so with normal gym stuff, but on the day you start with the swim before on to the bike and then a run. If you wear normal clothes your special bits often will get a little erm .. .chaffed. So instead I have got the sporting version of a gimp suit.  On the right is exactly what I dont look like!

My plan is to do this one and then do another 3 this year I think. The next ones will be the bigger versions rather than the baby version I am doing at the moment. In theory if I havent died, got bored or something I might aim to do an Olympic distance next year. It sounds so simple when you say it out loud ...

Outside of training stuff, I am currently setting up my own company. Started some work already and will be out flogging my amazing abilities in the general public in the next week or two.

Something that you may all be interested to know about is I am launching "Name that Flock"to help create identities for my new logos. And yes there will be prizes.. sheepy ones..


 Music Corner 

A beauty of a tune this week Logistics - Back 2 U (click on Pic)

You done what?

The pain has subsided. Although a trip to get a sports massage on Friday left me covered in bruises. I am not sure I should be paying a lady to do that to me!

Another week has flown past, in a blur of wind rain and sweat. I had been hoping to get outside to do some training but not until this storm passes.

Over the last month I have roughly Swum 5km, Run 25km & Biked 150km which combined could get me to Carlisle.

I know, winnah winnah, chicken dinnah indeed. I could have a wicked night out there... apparently Guildhall Museum is Carlisle’s best kept secret.. so I will set my sat nav to there!

Wierdly my body seems to have been taken by aliens (and not the probing kind). the last couple of times I have been to the gym, I have really enjoyed it. Yes I know. No I havent taken any of that. Honest.

Which is good as now I have started my own business, time is going to be at a premium so I need to avoid feeling like I have to drag myself along to the gym and its bright green walls looking like a bad fast food place, or maybe they bought the paint from Del Boy.

Another added bonus is that I am getting faster. I guess it is because I am spending less time panting, bent double like a wheezing old man and more time ambling along like a wobbly dinosaur. Thats a mental image for you all to savour (how many of you thought Barney rather than a T Rex?)

I have only got 7 weeks before I actually do it properly proper for real and all that. Eeek.

On a final note thank you very much for all the contributions to the Gym idea. I have now met my fundraising target and I will be opening it with Two Hats Jimmy in the next six months :-)

 Music Corner 

And oldie but a goodie..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l6vTw97QWs

House of Pain

Not just a 90's music reference, but a fact of life at the moment.

Yes yes I know girls have high pain thresholds and boys don't. Yes I know that manflu is the most life threatening non lethal, but I hurt.  A lot.

Just a dull ache, located erm .. in my body ... everywhere. This has made the last 3 workouts based around grin and bear it.

I must have distorted the fabric of space time when I run because on one occasion 3 minutes was long than my whole 6 weeks holiday as a child! 

Still by 8am this morning I had completed my brick (40 minutes cycle followed by 15 minutes run). Ouch. And this is week 3 of 12. Woo and Hoo.

Ignoring my self pity and frankly childish moans, those that know me, know that I am quite frankly a bit odd at times.

Voices in my head this morning....(does wavy hands thing)

"Good morning Dragons. Today I am going to pitch to you a new and unique idea in branded exercise programmes.  It is called Two Toned and will reach £100 profit after year 3. I am asking for £100K investment for 4% of the company.

Studying the current offerings in the marketplace, my research identified a gap in the working out and and Ska  music. I havent heard of any other gyms in the Accrington area offering such a unique and stylish proposition.

Before you rush to invest I will outline some of the details. Two Toned will be a black an white themed gym, with all of the music supplied by Ska and Two tone bands.

Members will have to wear pork pie hats whilst working out for that extra Beat Burn (TM) which by providing coverage the head area will increase atoms leaving the body by up to 1% 

The gym will have a house band led by the weight loss king Buster Blood Vessel. They will provide up tempo music, a performance to perspire to.

The gym will also host every wave of Ska bands up to and including the 3rd wave. 

Themed nights include Beatercise, Leaner than Jake, Rowing with big Fish and Rankin Roger Run.

We would extend the chain with brand such as New Row Mantics, Rock and Run, Middle of the Row and Cross Country Music. 


I am now open to questions .... .Yes Theo ......" (wavy hands)

 Music Corner 

This week is that amazing duo -   
Carter USM with Surfing USM 

The intro to the song just explains it all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l6vTw97QWs